Wednesday, June 25, 2014

Rubber (2010)



Rubber is a movie about a tire named Robert that kills people. That’s it that’s all.

The movie starts off in a desert, and at some point they start showing black chairs on a dirt road.  At this point a car comes down the road and slowly knocks over every chair. We are greeted by a Sheriff who talks for a five minute monologue about how "most things in life happen for no reason."


The sheriff gets back in his car while the nerd starts passing out binoculars to a group of people that have apparently been off camera this whole time.  They start talking "This sucks, I can't see anything" and "Oh god this is so boring, why are we here?"  These people are spectators to the movie we are currently watching.  They don't like the movie either, that should tell you something.

The plot is non-existent and there is absolutely no character development.  You are shown things and literally told to just deal with it.  You will not like or care about any characters in this movie except for the tire.  Why do we like the tire?  Because he makes people’s heads explode with his mind.


It takes about twenty minutes for the tire to make an appearance. After another several minutes of nothing, the tire sits up from the ground and starts awkwardly rolling around until he finds a water bottle.  He hesitates for a moment before running over the water bottle. He also runs over and kills a scorpion.

Then, something strange happens.  The Tire comes across a glass bottle, which he finds out he can't run over.  He tries several times but no cigar, so what does he do?  He backs up, gets pissed off, and uses his psychic powers to make it explode. Then he falls asleep. The next morning, the tire wakes up, and uses his powers to completely destroy a rabbit.


At least this movie has good special effects.  When the rabbit explodes, it leaves behind piles of meat, blood, bones and fur. Also, when the heads in the movie explode, they look pretty gruesome. 

So, so far the tire has destroyed anything that has gotten in his path and from that moment on, he continuously kills more and more people by making their heads explode.

At this point, the spectators are all pissed at how slow the movie is going, while impressed with the cool head explosions.  Somebody shows up with a Turkey and literally throws it in the dirt near them and they just eat all of it.  (Spoiler Alert) Well, luckily for them, it was poison and they all die.



Our Sheriff from the opening monologue gathers up all the other officers and a couple of the townsfolk and says to them, "OK everybody, good job. You can go home now, they're dead.  I repeat, we poisoned all the spectatorsThey are dead, you can go home."  That's right, the movie just killed off its spectators so it could end.  He is interrupted by somebody who whispers in his ear "One of the spectators didn't eat.  We have to keep going."  The Sheriff looks very disappointed.  He’s confused and doesn’t know how to continue.  He pulls a note from his shirt pocket that reads, "Oh god, the kid was right, the killer is a tire."  

After that, the story was so retarded that I gave up explaining it to you.

Anyway, this movie is extremely... special.

I don’t recommend it, but in case you were interested here is the trailer;



Also, this movie is available on Netflix as well as YouTube. Enjoy