Jack and Jill (2011)

Jack Sadelstein (Adam Sandler) is gritting his teeth over a holiday visit from his loudmouthed twin sister Jill (Sandler in drag). The siblings pick at each other relentlessly from their past experiences from when they were younger. They never get along, even with the help of Jack's  wife (Katie Holmes). It's horrible to watch the movie, make fun of Jill's looks, weight, and farting problems only to switch gears into gooey sentiment at the end and tell us why we should love her.

Adam Sandler was terrible as Jill. We were supposed to believe that the character was actually a woman. All I saw was Adam Sandler in a dress with a stupid voice. Jack is unlikeable and mean, almost to the point where you wonder how he has any family or friends. Katie Holmes wasn’t really in the movie. Her character was one dimensional and boring. She might as well have not been there at all and this crap would have stayed the same. Al Pacino was in the movie, as himself. Now, why would he do this movie is my question. He is an amazing actor with amazing credits to his name. But this? Really? The jokes were pointless and not funny. Too many fart jokes and stupid Adam Sandler accent scenes.

Well the film contains approximately one minute that is not excruciating. It’s the one where Johnny Depp appears during a Lakers game.The visuals are terrible in the early movie and get a lot better later when they go on a cruise ship. 

Now, in the story, Sandler wants to recruit Al Pacino for a commercial in Dunkin Donuts he's doing, but Al really doesn't like him because he's kind of a douche-bag. Well, as soon as Al sees Jill, he falls in love almost instantaneously, but Jill doesn't even like him. So now throughout the movie we get to see Adam Sandler trying to buy Al Pacino's love with Jill so that he could do the commercial for them.

So in the end, this movie shouldn't be seen at all, Adam Sandler used to be funny, I don't know what happened in this movie and I certainly don't know why Al Pacino was dragged into this piece of crap. Anyway, a comedy movie that isn't funny, is a bad movie and don't ever watch this... EVEEEEEEER!

Here is the trailer:

This monstrosity is on Netflix

Sources:
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0810913/?ref_=nv_sr_1 

Spy Kids 4-D (2011)

Marissa Wilson (Jessica Alba), is the aunt of the original spy kids, Carmen and Juni Cortez, who are all grown up now. Marissa is pregnant but she’s carrying out one last mission as a spy – catching Tick Tock, a villain who’s stolen the key to the Armageddon device, which can steal time. She captures Tick Tock, while still pregnant, and she puts him behind bars. Since she’s retiring, Marissa has not told her new husband, Wilbur, or his young twin children, Rebecca and Cecil, that she was a spy. 

One year later, Marissa is living with their new baby and Wilbur is busy with his new reality show as a spy hunter. He still doesn’t know his wife used to be a spy herself. Marissa is suddenly called back into action when another villain, called the Timekeeper, steals the Armageddon Device and is working with Tick Tock, who’s escaped from jail. She doesn’t realize, however, that the Timekeeper is after a medallion and necklace Marissa gave Rebecca, which can stop the Armageddon Device from stealing time from the whole world. Rebecca and her twin brother, Cecil, are forced to work together to help their mom. They get help from their aunt, Carmen, who wants to revive the Spy Kids Division.

This is yet another movie that is meant for kids but it will be the last kid movie that I review. So, again, the only good thing about this movie is:

- The cool gadgets

The camera work is very weird and the effects lack... you know... intelligence. The story of the movie is rushed and way too thin for the films running time. The action is a bit boring and it doesn’t help that the editing is messy and disorganized. The actors in the movie aren’t good; I mean it was cool of them to bring back Daryl Sabarra and Alexa Vega, but they didn’t really fit in that much, I mean the movie is called Spy Kids, the new kids are ok, but there are some parts of the movie where they don’t have confidence to do what they’re supposed to do and that makes them less appealing.

Jeremy Piven (The Villain) is the only good actor in this film; I mean he really gives his all into this underwritten and uninteresting villain part. Also Jessica Alba does nothing with her role other than look pretty. The characters in the movie are so cardboard; it’s hard to treat this movie like a good kids movie.

This movie was also in 4-D, which was extremely stupid in the theaters. The Aroma-Scope really wasn't necessary because all it was, was the baby farts and you scratch a ticket and smell it, or the kids drops a bag of vomit, and then you scratch a ticket and smell it.

So, in the end, do not see this movie.It is an utter disgrace to the genre of spies. The acting and CG are both horrible, and the jokes are utterly painful to sit through. (No one in the theater even laughed, not even the kids).

The only reason you should see this movie, is pretty much if you are trying to get stupider, or if you're drunk.

Here is the trailer:

Also, the FULL movie is on YouTube, so here you go.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s58sK8a33N0

Sources:
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1517489/?ref_=nv_sr_2