Max (Cayden Boyd) is a ten-year-old boy who doesn't get along with his classmates
and is getting bullied at school. But Max has a great big imagination, and he
has a pair of very special imaginary friends; Shark Boy (Taylor Lautner), a half
human half shark raised by a pack of great white sharks, and Lava Girl (Taylor
Dooley), a girl with superpowers who can shoot
lava from her hands. But Max doesn't know
that Shark Boy and Lava Girl really do exist. He is visited by them one day to
help them fight against Mr. Electricity, a super-villain determined
to rob children of their sleep on a planet Max made up called Planet Drool.
This movie is a children's tale that is spoiled by
a horrible decision to film most of it in terrible 3-D. Three quarters of the
movie is in 3-D, which doesn’t at all look like 3-D, removing the brightness
and life of the movie's colors and replacing them with a boring, energy-less complexion, which is about as exciting as looking at a 3-D plate of toast.
The good things about this movie:
- Children will like it
That's it, that's all. The acting in this movie is complete garbage. There are a few rules to making a movie, one of which is; never cast children, some movies can pull it off and do a good job at it, but not this one. For instance; Cayden's performance as Max is uninspired and is a better fit for a school play than for the big screen. If you've seen Taylor Lautner in Twilight, then you know exactly what kind of actor he is, and if you haven't, then picture someone from "Cirque du Soleil" acting with NO emotion. Taylor on the other hand, has
potential. She at least shows emotion and delivers her lines with a
little bit of excitement.
With its bubblegum colored sky and computer-generated Candy-Land terrain, Planet Drool looks like utter crap, like some thing from a ... I don't even know what to compare it to.
Here, you look and see what you want to compare it to;
By the way, those things on the left are the "enemies" of this movie.
During the first 10 minutes of this movie, I had already found about 100 different things wrong with it. Whether it was the story, physics, logic or the acting. By the end of this 1:30:00 long movie, you will have come out thinking "I would rather die than watch that satanic piece again.
So, again, if you like movies where you would have to be five years old to enjoy them, then this is the movie for you. If not, then whoever tells you to watch this movie should just get punched in the face.
Here is the trailer:
This movie is on Netflix.
Sources:
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0424774/?ref_=nv_sr_1
Oh my god, growing up this movie was one of my favorite, I use to watch it all the time, but you are defiantly right now that I'm older and I notice all really bad stuff about the movie I can't watch it anymore, because those stuff really bother me now. I had to watch it with my little cousins a few month back and we didn't get through haft of the movie before I couldn't take it anymore and change the movie.
ReplyDeleteExcellent post Oli. I admit, growing up, this movie was one of my favorites. I think that's because children don't have many movies of quality to compare them to. Not the I reflect, as a young adult, who spends most of his time watching movies (I have no life) this movie is incomparable. I completely with all of your points in this post. I'm loving your open sense of humor in your posts. Keep it up, I'll be back for more.
ReplyDeleteI remember this movie since I was a little girl, I would watch it with my brother Matt all the time. My favourite thing about the movie is that Taylor Lautner stared in it and we'll I use to think he was very cute. Oliver, the way your right in your blog is funny and I can't wait to read more.
ReplyDeleteMan, I used to love this movie, I still kind of do, its just a lot of memories, I remember almost every part by heart. Your doing a good job Oliver keep up the good work, I like the way you illustrate how you feel about these movies, its very entertaining in a way.
ReplyDeleteThis is pretty funny stuff. I like the constant use of the word 'garbage'. It's a very useful word to your blog because you're right! Everything in this movie was pretty much garbage. I did however, have a slight crush on lavagirl when this film first came out back in the day... But I do agree with pretty much everything else you had to say on the moving and the horrible acting. Can't wait to see what other movies you have in your trash bin.
ReplyDeleteWhoa Oliver, I love your humorous criticism towards this movie. I remember liking it when I was younger, but now that I am older and have a much higher demand in quality, I see how crap it is. I agree that the cast, graphics and editing is what makes it so bad. Can't wait to see your next blog post
ReplyDeleteWhile all of your points are valid, (Except for the one about not casting children, I mean common, of course you can cast children in movies. Hollywood has several great child actors.) you seem to be missing the point of this movie. The one objective this movie had was to be appealing to children, and it fulfilled that objective. You can go on about how bad the acting is, the set, 3D effects, etc, but in the end it doesn't matter because it's a children's movie. If this was something marketed to adults, I'd applaud you for pointing out all of it's flaws, but because it's a children's movie, it shouldn't be taken seriously enough to be criticized in the first place.
ReplyDeleteOliver, as entertaining and hilarious as this blog entry was, I must agree with jake on this one. I have never completely watched this film in its entirety, but I have seen bits and pieces as a child. Being a huuuuuge Disney fan, I absolutely love movies that appeal to a younger, more childish crowd. I find them to be so entertaining and nostalgic as I can feel myself reverting to my six year old self again. Just because you're 8 years older than when you first viewed the movie, doesn't mean you can't still find that part of you which once liked it.
DeleteI think you're right there Jake, and so because of that, I'm going to finish the movie review I have going, which is another kids movie, but then I'm going to stop reviewing kids movies because they are basically all the same and have the same crap wrong with them, but last one, I promise
DeleteI have seen this movie once and everything you said is true. Bad movies are a staple of society. Keep watching the bad movies and telling us about them your writing is clever and inspired. Shark boy and lava girl was stupid as a concept for a movie and you pointed out exactly why. Good job
ReplyDeleteWhen i saw you wrote about Sharkboy and Lavagirl it made me upset! By reading all the comments I see i'm not the only one who watched it growing up and loved it.. I still love it and still watch it when it's on TV! Now that I've read your blog, i can somewhat understand why you dislike it. Although being a kid and watching this, you never really notice how bad it is.
ReplyDelete